a step by step guide to how i survived my breakup requested by lionstooth
  • get broken up with
  • cry for like 24 hours but don’t tell anyone you’re crying. hide as best u can
  • throw up all over everything yr ex gave you, unless it was something you can give to someone else. then just give it away and pretend youre a nice guy
  • every time you look at the person that broke up with you think about mold growing all over their face
  • once theyre nice and moldy in your mind stop talking to them forever and when they try to squeeze back into your life just for their own lil ego boost, tell em bounce up out
  • avoid sad music at all costs; only listen to like snap music from the mid-2000s
  • drink a 4loko and rap about how gross they are. it helps i swear
  • if anyone asks if youre okay tell them “lol i dont give a shit at all”
  • keep telling them/yourself that until it becomes true*
  • dont date his friends
  • dont run off and find a new bf right away because u will probably just end up with another fuckboy and if you wait a while you will find a great one that takes you to strip clubs and tells you you look like a disney princess

*this will work for any feelings ever trust me you can talk yourself out of them im a pro

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  7. sagepointe said: Thank you - Lil Vicente
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    I will drink all the 4loko
  14. melisscellaneous reblogged this from specialagentspooky and added:
    that last part sounds perfect
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1 year ago 210 notes